Almost a month

It is really a blessing to be where I am at the moment. But despite all the goodness, I am faced with many tough moments.

On my first day, I was almost alone the whole day. Why? I hid myself most of the time. I tried so hard to avoid eye contacts because I refuse to have a conversation with others. I was shy, I was scared and I just don’t know what to do. If fact, I still AM.

During my first week, I traveled 3 hours away from where I stay to a different city, a city which I have never been to. When I boarded the train, I felt really sad and I felt so much like crying. Even though the excitement of traveling with other business people was just so much, I was indeed very very scared. As I arrived to my destination, I was in a room filled with strangers and a almost foreign language to me. I went to my first meeting and could hardly understand things. I looked blankly most of the time.

I do what I do best, smile.

I say what I say best, Yes and No.

I felt stupid and incapable all the time.

At the 2nd week, I am at a conference and once again, I could hardly understand anything. There were about 100 people in the room and seriously, the speaker just simply went blablabla. I can only tell myself, I need this for attendance purpose. After 2 horrible days, I am asked to attend  another training. To my horror, it is a certification training and if I ever do pass the exam which is right after the 3 days training, I will be certified. Once again, I am excited but scared…..

At the moment, I think I am forgetting apart of my other language skills and gaining some other. I look at myself with much pity but at the same time, I keep telling myself to move forward. This is nothing compared to what I endured previously. My curiosity kept me motivated  all the time.

Grace, life is good…really :) I guess, listening to Guang Liang makes me feel all emo and I miss home……..I miss talking to my parents and sister……..